407ETR - Highway Robbery

Yesterday I made the mistake of looking at my bill from the resident evil over at the offices of Highway 407ETR.  Up until that point, I was actually in a pretty decent mood.  I came to the realization that I am paying these greedy pricks almost $9.00 per day if I decide to use their precious road.  I am now thinking twice, or dare I say, thrice about using the 407.  It is true - the highway is very convenient - but... really?  They are charging me an average of $.021 a kilometer and I travel 40km per day if I take it to and from work. 

Here is a quick math breakdown of my 407 expenses:

40km X $0.21 = $8.40

Approximately 19 work days per month = $159.60

12 months per year = $1,915.20

What's that?  There should be some kind of reward for traveling the highway this frequently?  Well, here it is.  I usually qualify for Tier 3 of their rewards program, which is the equivalent of a giant middle finger gouging out one of my eyes.  I qualify for 55km of FREE highway use on Sundays as well as $0.03 per litre off on gasoline (up to 120 litres), but only if I want to use Petro Canada (which I don't).  The other problem with this is I don't work on Sundays and I rarely have the occasion to "take advantage" of my FREE kilometers.

Now that I have actually broken this down monetarily, I see a lot of back roads and side streets in my future. 

Rant: The BOB sign and why it bothers me

This morning I was driving to work and saw one of those "Baby on Board" signs hanging in a car window.  For whatever reason, this woke up the hamster in my head, the wheel started to spin... and today's rant begins.

I'm really not sure of the purpose of these signs.  Traffic accidents are just that, accidents.  We do not have the ability to pick and choose who we're going to hit or who is going to hit us.  I don't change my driving habits based on the sign hanging in your window, and I'm quite positive that no one else does either.  So why bother?  Is it as simple as someone wanting to broadcast the fact they have procreated? And if so, why?  Good for you, you've replaced yourself on the planet.  Do I care? No.  Does any other stranger on the road?  Doubtful.  So, un-suck your little self important suction cups and please, drive safely.

Rant: The Self-Important Motorist and Their Correlation to the Traffic Jam

In my estimation, it is only a small number drivers who cause traffic jams.  We have all seen them, and probably cursed them.  It is the discourteous, self-absorbed drivers who race up the right lane to merge at the lanes-end that slows everyone else down.  You know the ones, they usually have a coffee or cell phone in their hand; and because their schedule is more important than ours... we wait. Can I get a collective "Fuck You"?  I have cast many a scowl and the odd hand gesture to these drivers in my day - I mean, you wouldn't do this at the bank or grocery store, would you?  Now, when people dawn the armour that is vehicle - things change!  Everyone grows testicles and bad manners prevail.

Now in fairness, it is not always the fault of the right racer.  Often times, there is no room to merge prior to the lane ending; that is because every driver in the left lanes plays the 'let's see how close to the bumper I can get' game.  Relax, people.  Chill out, have some dip.  I know Oprah is on, but that is why they invented the PVR.  If everyone added a little respect, courtesy and spacing to their driving routine, it would make it some much more tolerable for the masses.

Rant: The Side and Effect

Okay, let's see now?  This is not a joke. These are the actual potential side effects of a drug manufactured to cure depression - and in fairness, I will not name the drug (although I'm sure you could figure it out if you really wanted to). I found myself watching the commercial for this drug, and after they listed the ninth or tenth side effect, I was actually laughing aloud.  Now, depression is no laughing matter, however I think I would rather be depressed instead of opening myself up to even two items on this list.  I can see it now... "I'm not depressed, but this hot dog tastes like grapes, I'm cold, my stomach hurts and I'm going to f***ing kill you... now let's go play in that fountain"...

Without further adieu, here is the list...

Nausea; Drowsiness; Headaches; Dry mouth; Dizziness; Insomnia; Constipation; Fatigue; Diarrhea; Loss of appetite; Sore throat or runny nose; Weakness; Sweating; Vomiting; A decreased sex drive (libido); Upper respiratory tract infection; Coughing; Shakiness (tremors); Frequent urination; Muscle pain; Sexual side effects, including ejaculation problems, a decreased sex drive (libido), erectile dysfunction, and orgasm problems; Blurred vision; Anxiety or agitation; Weight loss; Hot flashes; Yawning; Abdominal pain (or stomach pain); Vertigo (a spinning sensation); Gas; Chills; Indigestion or heartburn; Seasonal allergies; Muscle spasms; Taste changes; Abnormal dreams; Cough; Suicidal thoughts or behavior; Hostility or aggressiveness; Engaging in unusual or dangerous activities; Restlessness or inability to sit still; Extreme elation or feelings of happiness that may switch back and forth with a depressed or sad mood; Other unusual changes in behavior; Low blood sugar (hypoglycemia); Chest palpitations; Difficulty passing urine; Signs of an allergic reaction, including an unexplained rash, hives, itching, unexplained swelling, wheezing, or difficulty breathing or swallowing; Atrial fibrillation; Congestive heart failure; Canker sores; Ear pain; Acne; Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS); High cholesterol or high triglycerides; High blood pressure (hypertension); Sensitivity to the sun.