Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Rant: The Self-Important Motorist and Their Correlation to the Traffic Jam

In my estimation, it is only a small number drivers who cause traffic jams.  We have all seen them, and probably cursed them.  It is the discourteous, self-absorbed drivers who race up the right lane to merge at the lanes-end that slows everyone else down.  You know the ones, they usually have a coffee or cell phone in their hand; and because their schedule is more important than ours... we wait. Can I get a collective "Fuck You"?  I have cast many a scowl and the odd hand gesture to these drivers in my day - I mean, you wouldn't do this at the bank or grocery store, would you?  Now, when people dawn the armour that is vehicle - things change!  Everyone grows testicles and bad manners prevail.

Now in fairness, it is not always the fault of the right racer.  Often times, there is no room to merge prior to the lane ending; that is because every driver in the left lanes plays the 'let's see how close to the bumper I can get' game.  Relax, people.  Chill out, have some dip.  I know Oprah is on, but that is why they invented the PVR.  If everyone added a little respect, courtesy and spacing to their driving routine, it would make it some much more tolerable for the masses.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Photo: The Corn Coon

I took this photo in the summer of 2008... when was the last time you saw a raccoon eating corn right off of the cob?

Friday, June 25, 2010

Playlist Recipes - Annoying Songs to Play Loud and Piss Off Your Neighbours

Trashmen - Surfin' Bird
Bobby McFerrin - Drive My Car
Aqua - Barbie Girl
Pearl Jam - Bugs
MC Hammer - Pray
Captain & Tennile - Muskrat Love
The Fat Boys - Wipe Out
Cheech Marin - Red Blue and Yellow Too
Run DMC - Ghostbusters
Digital Underground - Same Song
Kinky Friedman - Homo Erectus
Dee Lite - What Is Love?
Pat Boone - Crazy Train
Celine Dion & Anastacia - You Shook Me All Night Long
Gheorghe Zamfir (master of the pan flute!!!)- Don't Cry For Me Argentina
Bruce Willis - Under The Boardwalk
David Hasselhoff - Du
Slim Whitman - Indian Love Call
Starland Vocal Band - Afternoon Delight
Les Baxter - Moon Moods
Guns & Roses - Right Nextdoor To Hell

It's Fried, eh?

I love cookbooks from the 70's, food was so much more interesting.  Take for example, this culinary train wreck... nothing says seafood like yellow and green - and of course, when I think salmon, I think brussel sprouts.  It looks more like a Dali painting than Stuffed Salmon, but that's what you get when you mix recreational drugs and cooking.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

A Poetic Moment with Biz Markie

So I took blah-blah's word for it at this time
I thought just havin' a friend couldn't be no crime
'Cause I have friends and that's a fact
Like Agnes, Agatha, Germaine, and Jacq
Forget about that, let's go into the story
About a girl named blah-blah-blah that adored me
So we started talkin', getttin' familiar
Spendin' a lot of time so we can build a
A relationship or some understanding
How it's gonna be in the future we was plannin'
Everything sounded so dandy and sweet
I had no idea I was in for a treat
After this was established, everything was cool
The tour was over and she went back to school
I called every day to see how she was doin'
Everytime that I called her it seemed somethin' was brewin'
I called her room, a guy picked up, and then I called again
I said, "Yo, who was that?" "Oh, he's just a friend"
Don't gimme that, don't even gimme that
Jus' bust this
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Playlist Recipes: Driving Tunes, Volume I

Tom Petty - Saving Grace
Matt Mays El Torpedo - Travelin'
Bare Jr. - Nothing Better To Do
Golden Earring - Twilight Zone
Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls
Mike Ness - The Devil In Miss Jones
Black Crowes w/ Jimmy Page - Hey, Hey What Can I Do
Greenday - Holiday
Kathleen Edwards - Back To Me
Bob Dylan - Lonesome Day Blues
Creedence Clearwater Revival - Fortunate Son
Kenny Wayne Sheppard - Aberdeen
Weezer - My Name Is Jonas
Tragically Hip - Three Pistols
Ryan Adams - Let It Ride
Phish - Chalkdust Torture
Johnny Cash - Cocaine Blues
Joel Plaskett - Rollin' Rollin', Rollin'

Feel free to reply with your recipe for a Driving Tune Mix CD.

Friday, June 18, 2010

It's Fried, eh?

What's wrong with this picture?

There is no right or wrong answer to this question, but there's a lot going on here.  I'm not sure why the whale is crushing some sort of leprechaun or what's going on with the rhino with the flower in the background... I'm open to your interpretations...

Review: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Mojo

After a several year hiatus from recording with the complete Heartbreakers ensemble, Mojo breaks some new ground for TP+HB.  The album is quite eclectic with strong blues roots, a reggae tune and a couple of rock ballads. This album was also done on-the-fly, completely raw with no overdubs - a refreshing change in the world of music today.

I have been a huge Petty fan for as long as I can remember, and the first Mojo listen-through didn't really catch me, but it is proving to be infectious.  The second time though some of the tunes really started to grab my ear.  I don't think it will be my favorite TP+HB album, but it is certainly worth the buy - especially if you are a fan.

My three stars on the album are:
3.     "Running Man's Bible"
2.     "Something Good Coming" 
1.    "I Should Have Known It" 

Rating: B+

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Rant: The Side and Effect

Okay, let's see now?  This is not a joke. These are the actual potential side effects of a drug manufactured to cure depression - and in fairness, I will not name the drug (although I'm sure you could figure it out if you really wanted to). I found myself watching the commercial for this drug, and after they listed the ninth or tenth side effect, I was actually laughing aloud.  Now, depression is no laughing matter, however I think I would rather be depressed instead of opening myself up to even two items on this list.  I can see it now... "I'm not depressed, but this hot dog tastes like grapes, I'm cold, my stomach hurts and I'm going to f***ing kill you... now let's go play in that fountain"...

Without further adieu, here is the list...

Nausea; Drowsiness; Headaches; Dry mouth; Dizziness; Insomnia; Constipation; Fatigue; Diarrhea; Loss of appetite; Sore throat or runny nose; Weakness; Sweating; Vomiting; A decreased sex drive (libido); Upper respiratory tract infection; Coughing; Shakiness (tremors); Frequent urination; Muscle pain; Sexual side effects, including ejaculation problems, a decreased sex drive (libido), erectile dysfunction, and orgasm problems; Blurred vision; Anxiety or agitation; Weight loss; Hot flashes; Yawning; Abdominal pain (or stomach pain); Vertigo (a spinning sensation); Gas; Chills; Indigestion or heartburn; Seasonal allergies; Muscle spasms; Taste changes; Abnormal dreams; Cough; Suicidal thoughts or behavior; Hostility or aggressiveness; Engaging in unusual or dangerous activities; Restlessness or inability to sit still; Extreme elation or feelings of happiness that may switch back and forth with a depressed or sad mood; Other unusual changes in behavior; Low blood sugar (hypoglycemia); Chest palpitations; Difficulty passing urine; Signs of an allergic reaction, including an unexplained rash, hives, itching, unexplained swelling, wheezing, or difficulty breathing or swallowing; Atrial fibrillation; Congestive heart failure; Canker sores; Ear pain; Acne; Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS); High cholesterol or high triglycerides; High blood pressure (hypertension); Sensitivity to the sun.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Photo: The Deadpan Cat

This is Furley, doing his best Charles Grodin impression...

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Review: Lake of Bays Pale Ale (Baysville, Ontario)

Lake of Bays Brewing Company, a relatively new face in the Ontario beer market has come up with a pretty decent Pale Ale. It certainly not the best beer I have ever tried, but it represents itself nicely.  Light amber in colour, it has a smooth taste with strong notes of malt and hops.  The carbonation is not heavy, which adds to its smoothness - overall a very enjoyable beer.

Rating: B

Friday, June 11, 2010

Review : NOFX - Never Trust A Hippy

This mini-release was a prelude to their 2006 release "Wolves in Wolves Clothing". The disc is concise; however, it is laden with raw, catchy and at times risky punk songs. If you are easily offended, please beware that the lyrics take numerous cynical shots at the flaws in politics and religion. Any NOFX fan will not be disappointed.

Rating: B

Review: Hoptical Illusion Almost Pale Ale (Barrie, Ontario)

Although this beer company is taking its cues from a couple of renowned U.S. craft brewers, 'Hoptical Illusion' is a breath of fresh air in the growing craft beer market in Ontario.  This 'Almost Pale Ale' is crisp and hoppy, but well enough balanced so the hops do not over-power the beer (not that I mind when they do).  For those who care, it clocks in at about 5%, so it's not going to kick your ass.

Formerly the Robert Simpson Brewing Company, the re-branded Flying Monkeys are in a good market position to do some local damage.  I know my local LCBO has a good turnover rate of HI, so they are definitely gaining steam. 
Jrazy strongly recommends this beer!

Rating: B+ 

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Question: If monkeys are potatoes, are carrots squirrels?

Does anyone know the answer to this age-old question?  Discuss.


A departure from Mays’ previous works, “When the Angels Make Contact…” is a brilliant masterpiece.  The album is quite eclectic and ranges from acoustic ballads (Morning Sun), to solid rock tracks (850 Commando) and even morphs into electronica (Midnight is the Time) – vaguely reminding me of Neil Young’s ‘Transformer Man’ experiments.  This album works.  Lyrically, its strength comes from its simplicity.All in all, a no bullshit, (almost) cover to cover gem.

Side-note: I had the good fortune to see this album performed live, and in my opinion, it will only be a matter of time before he hits the serious mainstream.  A gifted songwriter with a compelling voice who translates his energy to the stage with conviction. Buy WHEN THE ANGELS MAKE CONTACT on

Jrazy Rating: A